Friday, 21 December 2012

The Pledge of a Pleasant Person by an ex-Chief Whip

I'd prescribe you a pathologist, patriot, painter, parson, parasite, pauper or more perfidiously a pal; perhaps even peasant, person, pedlar, pirate,  pipsqueak, piper, and patently a pig.

 I'd propose you are a philanderer, philatelist, philosopher, philistine, plasterer, plumber,  plagiarist and plonker too. I'd paint you as a pneumatologist, policeman, politician, postman, and, poodle would do .

I'd present you as prelate, prostitute, and pertinently a prig. I'd portray you a pseudo, psephologist, psycho and/or a psychoanalyst. They'd all do as well.

I'd pronounce you publican, puritan, puppet, pygmy and sincerely, though pre-eminently, pyromaniac prorogates my paromoeon web,

For never ever, no never, never ever would I proclaim "You are a Pleb."


Pierre Pauvre  asks, "Does this mean that hooligan hoodies can now curse and oath willy-nilly at les flics without fear of arrest but if they call them "plebs" they will be sent to Devil's Island ? Sacre Bleu !"

Penny Pincher writes, "Yeah, I was on the Totnes to Paddington train last week and when the guard asked me to show him my ticket, I told him  to  'Pleb off  !!'   I was thrown out of the train at Pewsey."

Paul Pedant, PhD.  states : " It is more aesthetically pleasing to be called a referendum than it is to be called  a plebiscite. Hence the latter is a pejorative term."

Paddy Parboyle rejoins "Even I know the 'p' word is short for "Plebian and I didn't even get an O level."

Petula Partickler points out "Patrick, if that is your full first name, you missed out an 'e' . The word is spelt 'Plebeian."

Noah Pologhi declares "No problems with the 'p' word though it's preposterous that a senior politician who should present as a paragon of parliamentary purity uses profanities towards a policeman without fear of prosecution."

Isa Poplectic concludes, "You can say that again. Last year, at the tender age of 16 and a half years, our Ima was banged up for  28 days in a penitentiary for young persons because he called a policeman "A tall skinny..." and then, " very serious swear word." Where's the justice in that?  but then again, what would have happened if he'd called him by the 'p' word ?  See how the mind can get well and truly boggled ? Any road I think I've finally been able to make some sense of this whole palaver and it looks as how a line can be drawn under it."

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