Sunday, 4 March 2012
Iraq, Iran, Israel, the United Kingdom, Weapons of Mass Destruction and a very naughty boy
My history teacher told us that for our own safety and wellbeing our government in the UK never allows its citizens to forget that Iran is a very nasty and evil country. Now Iran may not have invaded any other country recently but it would be very ignorant and uneducated of us to think this is a good thing. In the 1970s Iran did have a battle with Iraq when Saddam Hussain was the new head boy of Iraq and at that time Iraq was a very good thing. Later we changed our minds and Saddam Hussain and Iraq became very naughty things and because of that we invaded them and smashed them to pieces. We invaded them because they had weapons of mass destruction and though they didn't actually have them our government said it was all right to pretend that they really did have them. Now that Saddam Hussain has been executed and Iraq has been smashed to pieces it has become a very good thing again and we're not to worry that it has become a very dangerous country for its inhabitants to live in.
History tells us that Iran has never been a very good thing, well certainly not since that very nice man the Shah was the head prefect there and now our government has spotted that Iran is developing the capacity for nuclear weapons of mass destruction and that Iran has become an even more very evil thing. Our leaders are saying we might have to think about smashing it to pieces because apparently it might attack Israel, a little country which doesn’t officially have nuclear weapons and yet actually does, but don't worry about that for our government says it is OK to pretend that Israel doesn't have nuclear weaponry.
Before I go to bed tonight I will obediently wish for a privatised health service, a private police force to defend the property of rich folks, and I will loyally pray for awful things to befall Alex Salmond, Dennis Skinner, fat people, welfare cheats, schoolchildren whose exams are too easy and all the rest of the feral underclasses who have broken our nice home counties society, - yes while I'm doing all that - I promise to understand why my government thinks it is a good thing that we have nuclear weapons and a bad thing that those terrible Iranian leaders have them.
The leaders in our government tell us the citizens of Iran live in fear of their government - that’s terrible. A naughty boy in my class called Noam says we should be in fear of our government because it is spending a lot of time thinking about which evil country we can next smash to pieces without any danger of that country smashing us to pieces in return. Noam says that in order to give itself something to do while it makes its mind up about this, our government has decided to declare war on all its poor citizens.
Fortunately none of us good boys listen to Noam.