Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Primary school kids had it coming to them : government plans to shame the 11 years old who have failed us.

The deputy prime minister, Nick "student loans" Clegg, and the schools minister, David "faulty expense claim" Laws, both members of the Conservative led United Kingdom government announced today that, while putting back a little of the big bundle of dosh this government had previously taken from children's services - of course at a time when it was morally imperative to prioritise easing the plight of the needy rich  -  they are now to introduce a new policy for primary school education. This policy will ensure that every 11 year old's school performance will be published to let us know which of them are slacking and are therefore likely to become nasty welfare skivers and which of them will be very clever and become  toadies to a disgraced political and financial system and so make sure that we will all, very sensibly, doff the cap to, and remain in debt to, the powerful few.

Why oh why do some  deluded people still think  kids deserve a childhood ?  And,  don't these kids know that there are very important people in Westminster whose arms are twisted behind their backs by even more important people with "global" financial interests that those self-same politicos have so astutely allowed us to become indebted to?  Can't these youngsters just grow up, like now, like today, like learn their responsibilities ? See how I'm even trying to use their kind of talk to help them understand how crucial Mick "the PM's pompous prying prefect" Gove  knows this to be?  Like, like they don't get it when Mick tells them  for a fact that their conning of the 13 times table by rote will solve all the nation's problems? Don't they like understand that all over the globe those countries whose children know their 13 times table are more economically powerful than us and like if we don't sort it out soon we're going to fall further and further behind in something or other ? Come on kids !  get a grip and stay cool !

And that's why folks I've felt it necessary to bring this new government announcement to your notice. The announcement was made by David Laws just after prime minister's question time on July 17th, 2013  and I thought I would take a lead from the prime minister, Dave "has anyone got a fag?" Cameron, and use his  unique method of selective quoting. So I provide here for anyone who might read this, some excerpts from the new education "initiative."

"low bar"
"raise the bar"
"Floor Standards"
"below the floor"
"higher floor"
"lower floor"
and again "lower floor"
and again  "lower floor"
and again and again and again and  again  'cos we are from 
"lower floor."

Source The government announces plans for higher standards and a bigger premium for primary schools

ps The government notice which I cite here seemed to disappear about 5 minutes after this blog was posted. Oh ! no !  GCHQ  or, even scarier, OFSTED  must be on to me ! Maybe I can get asylum in the corridor of a Russian comprehensive school.

Glossary : a "fag" is an English colloquial term meaning cigarette and by sheer coincidence and sadly not by any smart aforethought on my part it is also a word which refers to a junior boy at an English public school - like Eton College - who acts as a servant to a senior boy. 
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