Primary school kids had it coming to them : government plans to shame the 11 years old who have failed us.

The deputy prime minister, Nick "student loans" Clegg, and the schools minister, David "faulty expense claim" Laws, both members of the Conservative led United Kingdom government announced today that, while putting back a little of the big bundle of dosh this government had previously taken from children's services - of course at a time when it was morally imperative to prioritise easing the plight of the needy rich  -  they are now to introduce a new policy for primary school education. This policy will ensure that every 11 year old's school performance will be published to let us know which of them are slacking and are therefore likely to become nasty welfare skivers and which of them will be very clever and become  toadies to a disgraced political and financial system and so make sure that we will all, very sensibly, doff the cap to, and remain in debt to, the powerful few.


Why oh why do some  deluded people still think  kids deserve a childhood ?  And,  don't these kids know that there are very important people in Westminster whose arms are twisted behind their backs by even more important people with "global" financial interests that those self-same politicos have so astutely allowed us to become indebted to?  Can't these youngsters just grow up, like now, like today, like learn their responsibilities ? See how I'm even trying to use their kind of talk to help them understand how crucial Mick "the PM's pompous prying prefect" Gove  knows this to be?  Like, like they don't get it when Mick tells them  for a fact that their conning of the 13 times table by rote will solve all the nation's problems? Don't they like understand that all over the globe those countries whose children know their 13 times table are more economically powerful than us and like if we don't sort it out soon we're going to fall further and further behind in something or other ? Come on kids !  get a grip and stay cool !

And that's why folks I've felt it necessary to bring this new government announcement to your notice. The announcement was made by David Laws just after prime minister's question time on July 17th, 2013  and I thought I would take a lead from the prime minister, Dave "has anyone got a fag?" Cameron, and use his  unique method of selective quoting. So I provide here for anyone who might read this, some excerpts from the new education "initiative."

"low bar"

"raise the bar"

"Floor Standards"

"below the floor"

"higher floor"
"lower floor"

and again "lower floor"

and again  "lower floor"

and again and again and again and  again  'cos we are from 

"lower floor."

Source The government announces plans for higher standards and a bigger premium for primary schools

ps The government notice which I cite here seemed to disappear about 5 minutes after this blog was posted. Oh ! no !  GCHQ  or, even scarier, OFSTED  must be on to me ! Maybe I can get asylum in the corridor of a Russian comprehensive school.

Glossary : a "fag" is an English colloquial term meaning cigarette and by sheer coincidence and sadly not by any smart aforethought on my part it is also a word which refers to a junior boy at an English public school - like Eton College - who acts as a servant to a senior boy. 

Failing and shameful OFSTED lets down students and schools

OFSTED's shameful announcement last week of its negatively biased judgments on schools in seaside towns and in rural areas was a cheap shot to sustain for itself government support for an education inspection system which is driven by what the political classes and big business interests judge to be a good education. The latter is an education which discourages imagination and free thinking in favour of jumping through hoops and conning by rote.   It is a system configured to provide the powerful with people prepared to toe the line, in the same way that many of the heads of our diminishing number of state schools do, for fear of being labelled as being in charge of " failing schools."

I do not for one moment believe these schools are failing their pupils but perhaps the problem for our schools in rural and littoral situations is that they are less well financially endowed than other schools. They may be the schools which can't afford to pay fat consultancy fees to off duty OFSTED inspectors so that they can carry out a MOCKSTED before an official inspection. So much for a random system of inspection. Yes folks, this actually happens. A system which should be random  can actually be rehearsed beforehand if your child's school can afford it. 

School in rural setting

So determined are some schools in attaining the targets set for this narrow form of education, that many children can find that rather than getting on with their education week after week in a calm, creative and industrious way in the company of their teachers they are now becoming the most observed people in the country. Imagine this. No don't imagine it, because it actually happens. Schools where the senior management of a school and its governors fall into line with the martinet regime favoured by our political masters set up programmes such as : week one, teachers and classes observed and assessed by senior management of the school ; week two, two days of MOCKSTED when off-duty OFSTED inspectors give the school an unofficial going over; week three, governors come into the school to observe and assess the teachers and the classes ; week  four, official OFSTED inspection takes place. The long term result of this : anxious teachers and so anxious children. 

School in seaside setting 

In relation to its recent proclamations, OFSTED failed to show basic human respect to the pupils and the teachers of the schools upon which it pronounced its dubious and probably spurious judgments.  OFSTED knew that its "conclusions" would cause headlines which would be upsetting and damaging to both pupils and teachers of these schools, but hey, why bother about a little thing like that when you can guarantee that OFSTED  is creating headlines that will delight a punitive education minister and a punitive government and allow OFSTED to spread its tentacles into other areas, like, for instance, the NHS.